Saturday, January 29, 2011

known and held

As I'm learning to lean on Truth to conquer insecurity, I keep coming back to Psalm 139.

"God, You have searched and known me. You encompass my paths, know my ways, and hear every thought and word. You have surrounded me with yourself. I can't even understand all of this! It's too much for my mind to comprehend. There is no place I can escape from your presence. No matter where I go, your right hand is there to uphold me.

You formed my inward parts. You know things about me I don't know. You created me meticulously, beautifully, lovingly, before I was even thought of here. All the works of your hands are marvelous - including me. You made me who I am and laid out the days of my life before they began.

How precious are your thoughts toward me! If only I knew. The earth is covered with sand, yet your thoughts for me are more numerous still than every grain. Know my heart. Know my anxieties. Cleanse me of what keeps me from the purpose for which you made me, and lead me in your paths of eternal life."

So, as I was reading it again this morning, I noticed it says "your right hand is there to uphold me." And I really don't know if it technically has significance or not (I haven't done any study or research...), but it just struck me as kind of awesome that, with everything God is in control of, out of everything he could possibly need his right hand for, he has it extended to me. The world is spinning around like mad, and God has his right hand stretched out to uphold me, no matter where I am.

That's just awesome. I am so important to Him! It doesn't even make sense.

Every time I read this psalm now, I think of this song. Listen. It's pretty.

"Savior, you have known me as I am. Healer, you have known me as I was, as I will be. In the morning, in the evening, you have known me. In my rising, in my sitting down, you see me as I am. And as a lover knows his beloved's heart - all the shapes and curves of her, even in the dark, Oh you have formed me in my inward parts, and You know me."

(If you have time, listen to a couple more of her songs. They're all really good.)

P.S. The above quote scripture is not an exact quote of any translation. It's the Caitlin Paraphrase.

Monday, January 24, 2011


Thoughts from So Long, Insecurity. -Beth Moore
(Because this book is changing my life at the moment. I'm halfway through. Maybe I'll blog about the self revelation going on later. Maybe not. For now, some of my favorite thoughts, loosely quoted.)

He knows it's scary to be us. He does not take our suffering and pain lightly.

If what you went through translated as something huge to your heart,
it is huge to God on your behalf.

We live our lives screaming "somebody notice me!"
He not only notices us, He never takes His eyes off us.

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!
Ps. 139:1&17

"If I search around long enough, I'll find insecurity beneath my grandiosity and arrogant expectations beneath my self-contempt."
-Dr. Richard Winter

I have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear.
(Isaiah 41:9-10)

I cannot put people in charge of my security without setting them up for failure.
I must stop using others as my mirror and start seeing myself as God alone sees me.
Valuable. Worthy. Beautiful.

If you could realize how valuable you really are,
your insatiable need for affirmation would be quieted.

She is clothed with strength and dignity.
(Proverbs 31:25)
You have... crowned them with glory and [dignity]
(Psalm 8:5)

We possess dignity because God Himself has it and created us in His image.
He crowned us with it.

If we knew who we were and what God has conferred upon us, what everybody else thought of us would grow less and less significant. God wills for us to walk out the depth and breadth of our lives with dignity and security.

You are my security, God.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Rapunzel No Longer

And so, my friends, after more than two years of dedication,
the journey ends here.

But let's start at the beginning, shall we?

In September 2007, I decided to cut off all my hair. I'm not putting up a picture because I don't like them. However, if you want to dig in my archives, it exists.

June 2008, I became a redhead. Best. Hairstyle EVER.

I'm probably gonna go back to it one of these days. I got the best compliment on this cut - that I looked like a silent film star. yayness!

I don't remember exactly what date I decided to start growing it back out (I'm guessing Novemberish '08), but in March '09, I was definitely on my way. And tickled to I look like a hobbit. ha!

Progress went slowly at first.
July 2009 had the hobbit look long gone, but my hair was still really short.

Exactly a year later, in July '10, it was long enough to wear braided pigtails to the rodeo. lol

Aaand about six months later at Christmas,
it was super long and straight.

(sidenote: check out Alyssa's rockin' ginger curls! JEALOUS. She makes me want to go round 3 with the red so bad. But then I would look like a poser. lol)

So, January brought the decision to be finished. Mission complete. My hair is longer than the length specified when I started growing it out.

As you can see, I am super pleased.
A lot. Even though this post felt really self centered and cluttered. My hair's kinda been part of the journey on my blog, and I thought you should know that part of the journey is over. Lucky for you, that doesn't mean I'll quit talking about my hair. HA!

P.S. Thanks Erin (pictured in the last photo) for the top photo, and thanks to Katie (in the rodeo pic) for the ending photo of me and Erin. <3 love you girls. lol

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Manly Movies + Inspiration =

Monday night the family all settled down in the living room to watch The Bourne Identity.
Last night we all settled down for the sequel. It was late when it ended, but nobody had anywhere to be today so we stayed put and watched the Ultimatum as well.

Best man-movies ever.
Really. I prefer chick-flick type stuff, but if I'm going to watch a "guy movie," give me some Bourne. Or Mission Impossible. I can do that, too.

Anyway, I'd kind of lost my habit of crocheting while movie-watching. Inspiration left me, so I quit. However, inspiration bit me last night and those two action packed movies left me with this:

Adorable, right? Obviously, the inspiration had nothing to do with what I was watching.
It has 3 pieces - the hat, the bow part (which is just a small rectangle), and the ...uh... part that goes around the bow (which is just a tiny rectangle, plus a loop and a button). This is so that you can :
A) not wear the bow
B) wear the bow buttoned to the side, or
C) wear the bow buttoned to the side & cinch up the edge of the hat to give it a differentish shapeI really hadn't been planning on making it for myself, but... it's so perfectly, exactly what I envisioned in my mind that I don't think I could part with it. Plus, it's yellow. Need I say more?

Unrelated except for the crochet factor is this little owl mask. He's been lying around in my "finished projects" bin for... ever, and today I pulled him out, did a mini photo shoot and listed him on Etsy.
I'm rather fond of him, but I seem to recall my little sister asking "why did you make an alien head?" when I finished him. :|

I also added photos to existing inadequate listings, and I'll be adding a pair of elbow-length gloves to the shop later tonight.

Aaaand, that's about it. I don't really have anything else to add. So, I'm gonna go eat some lunch or something practical like that. lol
Happy Wednesday, friends. :)


Monday, January 10, 2011

less and more

I realized recently (for the seventy-twelfth time), that I spend way too much time on Facebook.
I like facebook. I like "connecting." But the problem is, there's not been a lot of connecting going on. Mostly just me, looking through my newsfeed, checking people's pages, waiting for something interesting to happen in someone's life that would move me to comment or think or something.

How. Pathetic.

And so, another unofficial resolution this year is to spend way less time with Facebook and more time with actual books. So far so good. To help with this resolution, I've started a 52 Book Reading Challenge for myself at You can click on my challenge link to see what I've finished and reviewed. So far, I've got one book knocked out and I'm well on my way to finishing the second. If I keep motivated, I may heighten my challenge to more than 52. However, this new ambition will probably wear off with a little more time. We'll see. :)

I'm having a lot of fun rediscovering goodreads while on vacation from facebook. So, to my reading blog-friends, if you have an account, add me! And if you don't, it's worth checking out.

I feel like an advertisement.

So, I think I'm going to run off and finish my current read. Happy Monday!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Happy 2011

Hi, blog world!

As you can see, I took a break.
My blog couldn't decide if it wanted to be ramblings about my life, etsy related stuff, or the slightly deeper ponderings on Jesus and love, so since it couldn't make up its mind, I abandoned it. My personal journal has been feeling very loved. ;-)

It still hasn't decided, but it told me I should at least pop in and wish you a happy new year. It's going to be a good year, I'm pretty sure. And I actually made resolutions! a sampling:

  • finish that guitar lesson book I've had around for forever
  • read the entire Bible
  • really stick with trying to teach myself the french language
  • hopefully find a nice person who speaks fluent french who wants to befriend me and help
  • knit an amazing beret

One of my unofficial goals is to sketch more. I've been on a fairy kick lately. viola! (that's french. ^.^ lol)
Actually, I think I drew the leaf-clad fairy last year. Oh well.

I really love this ginger fairy. She turned out so perfect! I've discovered I love "painting" on and giving everything a watercolor kind of look.

I've never seen an emo fairy before, but I like her.

So, here's my first blog post for the year! I don't really know if I'll keep blogging or not, but I'll probably pop in from time to time.

How's your year starting off?

<3 Caitlin