Artemis

So, for Halloween this year, I decided I wanted to be a Greek goddess. Not just any old Greek goddess, but Artemis: Hunter-Goddess of the forests and moon. Super cool, right? I think the whole Hunger Games bow-and-arrow thing might have influenced me a little bit, too, actually. Also, I'd be happy to be a woodland fairy every year, so goddess of the mountains and woods was a good similar-yet-different alternative.

My little brother is a whiz with all things woodsman, so he crafted me a giant bow and arrow set from some trees in our yard. No big deal, right? 

got ma concentrating face on. also got no idea what I'm doing. 

 Little bro did a great job. That bow was almost as big as me, and I spent the entire evening trying not to hit people with my arrows. My necklace is a super cool piece of antler (which little bro is also responsible for. I told you, he's quite the woodsman).

Me and my other goddess girlfriend, Aphrodite.

I made my boots out of an old coat. Ha! I love them. I might wear them like super-cool slippers all winter. My entire costume was made of things from around my house, except for a 50 cent visor I bought and spray painted gold for my moon-crown, and I was SO happy with it. I wasn't the only one happy with it - I won first place in the costume contest!

Yay! 

The End.

clearing out

Don't worry, I don't mean clearing out as in leaving.

I'm just tired of having a rubbermaid container full of cute things that never sold on Etsy.
Poor little cute crocheted things. :(
So, I'm auctioning them off on eBay. If they even sell, I'm sure it will be for less than I would have charged for them, but at least I'll have a little bit of money instead of a lot of wasted yarn and space. I'd really like to get back into the business, but... eh.

Anyway, maybe take a look and see if you want to make a bid. Or just wish me luck. ;-)

refocus

I missed English class this morning because I don't have a car.

Bless the Lord, O my soul.

I'm unhappy with the assignment I turned in, and concerned for my grade.

And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

I bombed my Physics quiz today.

Bless the Lord, O my soul.

I need more income. And a car.

And forget not all His benefits.

I am so impatient right now.

Who forgives all your iniquities.

I'm getting sick. My throat is raw and my neck is aching.

Who heals all your diseases.

I still don't have a long term plan. Or a short term plan, really.

Who redeems your life from destruction.

And I'm still lonely.

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies.

I am not content, and apparently my faith is weak.

Who satisfies your mouth with good things.

Bless the Lord, O my soul.

struggle

This is one of those moments where I kind of want to write a blog post about how sad/annoyed I am with some stuff. Not a lot of stuff. Only a little bit of stuff. It's not a big deal, but feelings will be feelings.

There's really only one friend who gets to know all my stuff. Like, every little detail of my thoughts and wishes and frustrations and craziness. I don't like to be dramatic and put it all out there for the whole world. Tonight I actually thought about doing that. Skipping homework and just venting on my blog. But this vague, annoying ramble is as close as I'm going to come to really venting. I don't want people to think I'm crazy. Or desperate. Or be all like "aw, Caitlin, is everything okay? Don't be lonely! don't feel sad!" 

(I am skipping my homework, though. Whatever.)

I miss being surrounded by people who know me. Family is more than just the people you're related to. I miss my family. My life needs more hugs in it. More hugs and more camping. I do love Jesus, but I still don't want to be single forever.

It's okay if this post is awful, because nobody really reads this unless I post my updates on facebook. I get an average of 5 pageviews on posts I don't promote. I wonder if I have 5 loyal readers, or if they're random internet hits.

I need to go on an adventure.

I'm okay. I'm just a normal person who's not all sunshine all the time. :)

new duds

In case you forgot what I look like, here's a picture. I got this new outfit yesterday. I love it.
The End.

morning in the mountains

The valleys exhale soft and long

The sweetest, gentlest, earth-born yawn

Caressing fern and pine and stone

Rolling, reaching upward

This weather is perfect for camping. The mountains are calling me, but I can't answer. It kind of hurts. Writing is as close as I'm getting. I love to walk up the mountain before the sun is up and watch the mist curl upward.

I wish I were asleep

I need to work on my time management skills. For instance, I probably should have spent two hours working hard on this essay and THEN "checked facebook real quick" before heading to bed, as opposed to "checking facebook real quick" for two hours, then working on this essay half-brainedly as I fall asleep.

Whatever.

I decided to write my essay on how hard it is for me to write about myself. That is so lame. I'm really disappointed in myself. I'm putting lots of conversation in it. I hope that's okay. I don't remember much more than that. That's why it's hard to write these things. Because I have no memory. I wonder if I can take something for that?

Anyway, I think I just came here to write for a minute as a way to unwind before I shut my laptop off and go to sleep. 5 hours, if I fall asleep right now. (Do you do that? Count the hours you'll get before you go to sleep? It's become such a habit for me that I feel uneasy unless I count.) Which I won't fall asleep right now, because I still have to brush my teeth. And stay awake as a helpless victim to my wandering mind which usually insists on thinking about random stuff for a while instead of letting me rest. Yay. 

I have a new favorite little kid. Two year old boys are the cutest, sweetiest, funniest, best, most funnest and best ever. I had to go to a meeting after church tonight, and he started crying as I was walking away. His mom let me take him with me. He just sat in my lap all snuggly-cozy for the entire meeting. It made my heart big. I offered to keep him forever, and his dad said that sounded like a good deal to him, but his mom couldn't reconcile the logistics or something, so I had to give him back. Oh well. One day...

I was going to have a second helping of crunch-berry cereal earlier, but I turned my back to put the cereal away after I poured my second helping and O'Malley the Irish Wolfhound started slurping it up. I guess I didn't need the calories anyway. Thanks, O'Malley. 

Good night.

They Say I Say Essay

The topic and outline for my three to five page narrative essay are due tomorrow.
I've had two weeks to come up with a topic.
Now I have fifteen hours.

It must address something "they" say, explain what "I say" in response, and illustrate my side with three to five narrative, descriptive illustrations.

Example: "they say" fishing is boring. "I say" fishing is awesome. "Last March, I went fly fishing with my grizzly great uncle, and..."

Two weeks, and I haven't got a topic.
Twenty-three years of life experience, and I haven't got a topic.
It's like when someone says, "name a song!" and your mind freezes, and you suddenly can't remember a single title out of the thousands of songs you know.

I am a good writer. I know it. Not an amazing writer, but... I can write just fine. I just re-read some of my poetry and short stories, and they're good. But they are good because I had a sharp image in my mind that I wanted to convey. I can't start writing this essay until I get a good mental image, a direction. Something worth saying.

I have a list of five potential topics, but I don't love any of them. I don't even like most of them. I don't feel like I can write something worth reading unless I believe in it.

I was hoping blogging about it might spark some thoughts somehow. So far, nothing doing.

Another problem, besides for fishing for a topic in the vast sea of my entire life's history, is that I have practically no memory. How can I write three to five very descriptive, "zoomed in," concrete illustrations/stories with such a small memory bank to go on? I asked my sisters to help me brainstorm.
"What's your best memory?" they asked.
"I don't have one."
"That's just SAD."

I mean... I have some good memories. But I can't pick a best one. And I don't know how I'm ever going to remember at least three with enough details to make a good essay of them that addresses whatever it is "they say," whoever they are.

This is not helping.
**update** I wonder if the professor would find it really obnoxious if I wrote about how hard it is for me to write about myself?

confession

I need to get this off my chest. Don't tell anyone I told you:

I'm going to school for the fun of it.
I don't have a plan.
At all.

curly hair, car loans, and camping. sort of.

Hey.

So, this is how long my hair is now. 

 And it doesn't really look that long, but then I straighten it, and it's like WHOA! I DO have hair after all! YAY! (I know, I know, I promised myself no more heat-styling. But really, did any of us believe that? I promise, that's the first time I've actually straightened it for real.)

 Also, way to begin my blog post looking like a crazy person, right? Whatever. Everybody already knows I'm crazy, so it's not like it's hurting anything.

So, school is fun. I'm supposed to be hypothetically buying a car right now, to get a loan and calculate interest and stuff. I'll do it after I finish this. I wish I were actually buying a car. This whole not-having-a-car thing is weird. When I'm working, I take their minivan to school. Some days when I'm not working, I can drive mom's minivan. Some days I'm minivan-less, but it just so happens that I have this great, generous friend who gives me a ride to school on those days. Which is pretty neat, and I'm super grateful, but I feel bad for having to ask all the time.

Oh, right, school. Philosophy is fun. We've been all about the foundations of Western philosophy in Ancient Greece so far, but we're moving on after midterms.

Math is super easy, which is ... miraculous. The prof is wacky, and sometimes class is boring, but I'll take boring over miserable any day.

English is so great. I just love English. That's why I'm even at college, y'all. This professor is fantastic. I'm supposed to be starting a narrative descriptive essay this week, though, and I'm stuck. With 23 years of life experience,  I can't think of a good topic for an essay. How does that even work?

Physics is interesting and hard. The prof reminds me of what my brother, Nick, would be like if he were a teacher. So, I really do like the class, I'm just not making As. haha.

I don't even want to talk about the freshman Critical Inquiry class. -_-

And I finally got my membership card for the Wellness Center on campus. Just in time; I have a 5k this Saturday, and I have got to spend the week trying to get back in shape. I thought signing up for this series would spur me back into gear, and it did not. I'm blaming it on school and work. Anyway, the treadmills and I are fixin' to become best pals.

Y'all, I was so excited to go to bed before midnight last night. Like, giddy. I was grinning as I set my alarm clock for 9 AM.

Um... So... what else should I mention? (I have become terrible at this!) Oh! I get to help teach little kids at church again. That's fun. I love kids so much. I'm actually babysitting my little 3 year old buddy right now, but she's napping. :)

I really want to go camping. Someone needs to call me and be all like, "hey! let's go camping!" And I'll be like "YEAH! let's hit the wilderness with some sleeping bags and marshmallows!" (Actually, I'll probably be like "crap. I really wanna, but I'm working for the next 5 weekends.") But, yeah. I just have this nagging little ache for percolated coffee in the early morning, surrounded by cool mountain mist, and late night marshmallow roasting, and cozy sweats and sleeping bags. I'm torturing myself here.

So, I guess I'm going to go hypothetically get a car loan now.
:) me