They Say I Say Essay

The topic and outline for my three to five page narrative essay are due tomorrow.
I've had two weeks to come up with a topic.
Now I have fifteen hours.

It must address something "they" say, explain what "I say" in response, and illustrate my side with three to five narrative, descriptive illustrations.

Example: "they say" fishing is boring. "I say" fishing is awesome. "Last March, I went fly fishing with my grizzly great uncle, and..."

Two weeks, and I haven't got a topic.
Twenty-three years of life experience, and I haven't got a topic.
It's like when someone says, "name a song!" and your mind freezes, and you suddenly can't remember a single title out of the thousands of songs you know.

I am a good writer. I know it. Not an amazing writer, but... I can write just fine. I just re-read some of my poetry and short stories, and they're good. But they are good because I had a sharp image in my mind that I wanted to convey. I can't start writing this essay until I get a good mental image, a direction. Something worth saying.

I have a list of five potential topics, but I don't love any of them. I don't even like most of them. I don't feel like I can write something worth reading unless I believe in it.

I was hoping blogging about it might spark some thoughts somehow. So far, nothing doing.

Another problem, besides for fishing for a topic in the vast sea of my entire life's history, is that I have practically no memory. How can I write three to five very descriptive, "zoomed in," concrete illustrations/stories with such a small memory bank to go on? I asked my sisters to help me brainstorm.
"What's your best memory?" they asked.
"I don't have one."
"That's just SAD."

I mean... I have some good memories. But I can't pick a best one. And I don't know how I'm ever going to remember at least three with enough details to make a good essay of them that addresses whatever it is "they say," whoever they are.

This is not helping.
**update** I wonder if the professor would find it really obnoxious if I wrote about how hard it is for me to write about myself?